No one wakes up and decides they will become addicted to drugs. We use for the’ high’ and then the high gets harder to achieve. When I started using pot as a teenager you could not have convinced me that I would ever go beyond that to use of a ‘harder’ drug.
When I was in my early twenties a so-called friend introduced me to heroin. There was an immediate addiction and my journey began. It not only took over my life but it was me. My every waking moment was spent either using, acquiring to use, or working to get money to buy. It is a life consuming addiction. I could not function on just heroin so I combined it with cocaine and my life went on.
About three years ago I realized I was not even getting high but rather using to just not get sick. My health was going down hill fast. I couldn’t eat or sleep. I had to quit my job and move home with my parents. I hid the addiction from my Dad but my Mom knew. Being over six feet tall, I barely weighed 130 pounds. I knew I had to find a way to stop or I would die. I finally went to my family and as a family we still didn’t know what to do.
They called everywhere to try to find rehab help but with everything being so expensive, it was not an option. We came to understand that people without money don’t get help.
One day I decided I had to quit. Yes, quit. My Mom sat with me for the days that followed. The convulsions, throwing up, extreme cold, delusions……. Everything. I made it. It has been almost two years and that part of my life is done. In the months that followed I slowly started using acohol again and it has now become the thing in my life that controls my days.
After overcoming a major drug addiction like I did you would think getting off alcohol would be easy. It in not easy. I am just stuck. I need help. I do not know why I can not stop. I’m tired of chasing the high. I do not want to go back and lose the life I am trying so hard to have. I need help….