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Shadows

female-shadowsI was happy for the longest time no knowledge of drugs or alcohol. I believe that I was luckier than most growing up with both parents and having all I could ever want. I had two full scholarships to New Mexico State University and the ambition to become a Chemical engineer. I learned fast and After graduating from High School I met a handsome, good looking, and what I thought to be, a true prince charming. This guy would prove latter to be nothing of the sort.

I started using drugs at the age of 16 this “prince charming” knew more about manipulation and drugs than I had ever fathomed. From the minute I met him I had unknowingly set myself up for failure. I began using cocaine on a daily basis which got so out of hand that I went to Las Cruces. Before finishing my first semester in college I was Pregnant with the most good looking, smartest, baby boy that I have ever known. I call him my Jewel. I immediately wanted to be a family with “prince charming”,his father and made the choice to move back to Albuquerque from Las Cruces and forfeited my scholarships. I was clean off drugs for a year and six months. 3 months before my pregnancy, 9 months while I was pregnant, and 6 months after.

It was after that I enrolled in college at IIA(international institute of the Americas) and relapsed. this time I was living with my parents and my addiction to cocaine changed to crack. I was addicted immediately and started to use regularly again on a daily basis. I would spend about $500 or more (if I had it on only crack). I learned how to cook crack and made sure I would never be left without. my use became so bad that I began pawning and clucking my stuff. no more did I have video games, jewelry, or trust. I got so bad I missed much of my sons childhood. I began stealing money from my parents and when that was not enough I started writing checks. This was too much and my parents kicked me out of the house. Latter I learned how to steal the checks by picking the lock of the lock drawer the checks were in. I went to cash a check one day and was caught red handed running out of the bank. a swat team surround me and pointed guns to stop the transaction. I went to jail with 26 counts of felony forgery. I bonded out five days latter and began using again. I was placed on probation for five years and pleaded guilty. This did not stop me I continued to use and graduated from college with my associate in business technology while getting fired from my first job.

I then enrolled in the University of Phoenix and started working towards my bachelors degree. I continued to use crack and began using meth about the time I graduated with my bachelors degree in business management. I then started using meth only while taking prescription pills until my doctor said “your liver is in a state of cirrhosis.” I had my doctor take me off Seroquel, lamictal, bromocriptine, baclofen, methocarbonal, and tramadol. it was around this time I began shooting heroin. I would smoke crack snort meth and shoot heroin all in the same day. I finally ended up in the hospital about five times before ending up in jail for two months. I have finally got out and want to seek help to better my life and start making some good choices. I want to make up what I have missed out on and help my family become whole again.

This story about addiction was submitted as part of the Breaking Addiction Scholarship Program on healthshire.com.

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