I’m not proud of my story,and it’s difficult for me to acknowledge the things I’ve done and the loved ones I’ve hurt. I keep thinking that I’ve hit rock bottom, not sure what mine is. I can give excuses for my drug use,and blame people who have affected my life in a negative way, but I know that I’m the person who is responsible for my actions. I know that this is an illness, I just can’t seem to get well.
I’ve lost myself my two beautiful Sons, my Father, my Brother, and my friends. The only person who hasn’t given up on me is my Mother, a 61 year old widow who for the past year has done everything in her power to help me. She should have given up on me too ,but I thank God everyday that she hasn’t. I have taken her to places a parent should never have to go. She tells me that I’m a good man, and I know that I was,and that I can be again. I don’t have the resources to get treatment, my Mother doesn’t either. The love and support she gives me is all that has kept me going for the year I’ve lived with her. But without financial aid I can’t enter treatment, which I know is what
I desperately want and need.
I’m tired of the way I feel everyday, the many health problems that I have caused by my addiction, and so remorseful for the past hurts I’ve inflicted on the people who I love the most.